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13 Critical Skills
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2) Tasking

Asking a client to do an action or behavior as part of developing new skills, developing awareness, or unleashing new potentials.


5     Co-Created Action Plan

Co-creating with the client the activities that will maximally transfer learnings to everyday life and that make the experience memorable and powerful. Client expresses excitement and motivation to completing tasks.


4     Action Plan With Buy-In

Giving reasons for an activity, presenting it with state induction skills (see Inducing States), exploring or inquiring about activities that would make the coaching more real and present in actual life, asking for a buy-in.


3     Action Plan Without Buy-In

Presenting a task to do, suggesting it but without providing any motivation or understanding for it.  Tasking an activity that has little or nothing to do with the focus of the session, getting no or little buy-in from client although they do leave with an Action Plan.


2     Giving a Task - No Action Plan

Presenting a task to do at a point in the session, but failing to come back to it later, forgetting to mention it as something for the client to do.


1     Hinting at Tasks - No Action Plan

Hinting at a task that would be good, but never asking the client to do it.


0     No Action Plan

No mention of any activity to do that would provide a drill or practice of a new learning or skill.


3) Celebrating / Cheer-Leading

Expressing excitement, respect, and honor to a client for something that fits with the client's hopes and dreams, visions and values.  Allowing and encouraging client to feel and express joy and excitement in small and big successes.


5    Full Celebration

Fully present to the client, sharing emotion, eyes watering or tearing, hand on shoulder, thumbs up, applause, expressing a high sense of value and regard for the success or experience and doing so with emotion, "Good on you!"  "Right on!"


4    Encouraging Celebration

From pacing to leading in celebrating by giving space and time to be with the emotions of the value and success, articulating the success in semantically packed words ("This begins to move you to your desired future, doesn't it?")


3    Matching State

Asks meta-questions about the meaning of the success or comment, uses validating language to get expression of value to the success.  High eye contact, presence, emotion in voice and body. Matching Client's state.


2    Verbal Acknowledgment

Verbally acknowledging emotion or enthusiasm.  Good bit of eye contact and presence.  Asks some primary questions about the success.


1    Low Emotional Response

Disinterested listening as evidenced by little eye contact, matching, voice flat,  low emotional response, no enthusiasm.


0     Unresponsive

No emotion or enthusiasm at the announcement of any success the a client mentions.  Unresponsive: comments are ignored or discounted.  No matching of client's state, no time or room to celebrate.  No eye contact.  Weak sense of being present to the client.


4) Holding Accountable

Asking what a client is actually doing that makes real and actual the stated vision for being, doing, and having.  Exploring when, where, and how a person has fulfilled promises.  Focusing on and holding the client to his or her own word and promises.


5   Provoking Action

Focusing on the frames above and behind the incongruency between acting fully on words.  Probing and Provoking (see Provoking)  through questions, challenges, meta-questions what the client says he or she wants to do or achieve.  Directly bringing up either kindly or firmly, "Will you do this now?"


4   Probing Lack of Action

Directly commenting on difference between word and actions. Asking probing questions.  Hearing and commenting on cognitive distortions involved in excuses or thinking patterns. Asking questions to invite client to own his or her responses. Moderate to high level of confrontation.  "You said you wanted X, but you haven't indicated taking any actions to make that happen, what's going on?"


3    Commenting on Lack of Action

Noticing and straightforwardly commenting on behaviors.  Listening to excuses and vacillating about accepting them.  Moderate level of confrontation.  "Did you do X?" "Let's talk about that a bit, what was going on for you?"


2    Hinting At But Letting Off The Hook

No noticing and commenting on the behaviors of following through or failing to follow through on a task or promise.  Bringing it up by hinting.   Letting person off the hook by accepting excuses or making excuses for the person.  Little direct communication about acting on goals and skills.


1    Negativity About Lack of Action

Inviting a sense of responsibility in a negative way by blaming, accusing, attacking or by merely noticing the lack of follow-through non-verbally, but not mentioning it.


0    No Follow-up

No mention of what a person has said, no relating it to what the person is doing or is not doing.  No follow-up on promises, tasks. 


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